


Helpless

by Emperor_Quarter



Series: Teraito Oneshots [9]
Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Flashbacks, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-30 06:00:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15745713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emperor_Quarter/pseuds/Emperor_Quarter
Summary: “I couldn’t even tell if Itona was breathing or not, and it struck me was that there was absolutely nothing I could do, Itona was too far gone in his headspace. The only thing I knew was I was probably more scared than him.” A breakdown, from Terasaka’s point of view.





	Helpless

**Author's Note:**

> So much inspiration guys, like I am writing five fics at a time. This is great. I can’t get enough of these two eisnshsjsksk.
> 
> Also this looked a lot long in notes but... *shrugs*

I can tell you right now, date nights are the best nights.

 

Or it just gave me an excuse to play video games.

 

We’ll just say it’s the first.

 

Usually, people would be cuddling with a mushy movie and ice cream, but I can tell you right here, that is definitely not how it goes for me.

 

I guess with Itona it’s just different.

 

(A good different.)

 

We end up burning any attempts at dinner (and also dessert sometimes... hey don’t look at me! I got an A+ in Home Ec!) andItona will not stand for anything other than an action movie (and I swear he secretly really likes gore) so pretty much ends up like a bro hangout, which is okay for us.

 

Actually, I guess everything does. I mean, Hazama was the only one not surprised when I told the gang about us. I guess they expected more... clingy? Peer pressure says you should have at least had your first kiss after four months apparently? I don’t know. Stop asking your friendly neighborhood ex-bully for dating tips. Do I look like the guy who changes girlfriends every week? (Looking at you, Maehara.)

 

Whoops, I get off topic a lot. So anyway, date night? Oh right.

 

So guess what? Mr. Tech-Nerd is the worst video game player I’ve ever seen in my life, its hilarious.

 

“How did you run your cart off the track?” I asked, slapping my forehead. “That’s not even possible!”

 

“I might have fiddled with it a bit.”

 

“Itona!” I groaned. “Why would you make it harder?”

 

He shrugged. “I wanted to see my character fall off a cliff. It’s funny.”

 

“That’s it I’m calling Hazama so you two can get your murderous intentions out somewhere else other than my house.” I was literally about to reach for the phone when Itona decided to rest his head on my shoulder.

 

I forgot to mention that while Itona is pretty reluctant with affection, he’s extremely blunt and straightforward when he wants it. And he knew that I couldn’t resist.

 

I sighed, and I just knew he was smirking as he forced himself in my lap and under my chin, curling up against my chest. “Sly, and wipe the smirk from your face.” For extra measure, I ruffled his hair, purposefully rubbing that one spot that’s his weakness. I was rewarded with a content hum, on of the few happy noises I’ve ever heard from Itona.

 

“Idiot,” he muttered fondly. I wrapped my arms around his waist and smiled into his hair.

 

“Shrimp,” I responded easily, and chuckled when he punched me. There not as hard as they used to be. “I’m going to be so bruised from you.”

 

Itona looked up, grinning. I raised an eyebrow. I can push back silly.

 

“But your cuteness makes up for it.”

 

He turned beet-red, grabbing the nearest pillow and whacking me, hiding his face. Still the biggest tsundere you will ever meet. “Idiot Ryouma,” he grumbled.

 

“Haha, I win.” I smiled, pulling him closer and ruffling his hair. We sat in silence for a couple minutes. “So...”

 

“You get bored so fast,” Itona rolled his eyes (at me!!! How dare he!!)

 

“Well you read all those boring books all the time, how can I not be bored?” I don’t even know where I’m going anymore.

 

My chest was nearly attacked by Itona crossing his arms. “What else am I supposed to do? I’m not gonna socialize. Most people just talk about their love life.”

 

“Righttt because apparently you don’t have one.” I stopped for a moment. “Tuna.”

 

He raised an eyebrow. “That makes no sense. Are we seeing into the random Ryouma now? My favorite part of the day.”

 

Ahh yes, there was always I time of day where I could ramble about whatever went through my head and watch Itona laughing at my stupidity. The only reason I do is because Itona’s reaction is fricking adorable.

 

“How are cats so flexible?” I asked suddenly. “How do dragons sit on chairs? I swear Karma is outside like go check really. Also, remember when Yoshida was crying the other day? Turns out he just came back from getting his shots, like man we’re in senior high now and he’s crying about those, I get it scares some people but honestly I just...”

 

I wasn’t paying attention until Itona suddenly shoved me away, crawling towards the other side of the couch. When I looked over, he had his hands clamped over his neck and was shaking.

 

Oh god. Oh god no what did I do?! This was the position Itona was in when he was in a flashback. What did I say?! Wait... I said shot. Dang it, of course that would be a trigger!

 

“Please don’t please don’t please don’t please don’t please please please...” Itona whimpered. His fingers curled over his neck and he tried to pull himself tighter, smaller.

 

We’ve know each other for three years now, just calm down Ryouma. You can do this.

 

I tried to reach out first, usually this made him respond if he was not to far gone.

 

We had established stages for this, and rundowns on how to help. Stage one was when he was just zoned out, sometimes he’d bring bits and pieces back to the real world and it would usually just take a head pat or tap on the shoulder to get him back.

 

I hoped this was only Stage two, where I could rope him back with verbal and physical comfort. “Hey hey hey, I’m here, I’m here Ito, can you hear me?” I tried. One trick I learned was to soften my voice and put as much emotion into as I could, opposing Shiro’s voice (that asshole...) entirely. I placed a hand on his shoulder and he jerked back, shaking and sobbing harder. His head was buried in his knees and his eyes were squeezed shut.

 

This wasn’t good.

 

I couldn’t even tell if Itona was breathing or not, and it struck me was that there was absolutely nothing I could do, Itona was too far gone in his headspace. The only thing I knew was I was probably more scared than him.

 

God, I was _scared_.

 

How long was this going to last? I remember one time it lasted until Itona passed out because he wasn’t breathing properly.

 

“Itona,” I tried again. “Itona, it’s me, Terasaka, Ryouma, _please_. It’s alright, you’re safe, he isn’t here I promise you. He is not here, okay? You’re safe.”

 

I couldn’t touch him. Everything itched in me to hug him and comfort him but I just couldn’t. It hurt to not be able to do anything. I also feared I was losing my composure. I could barely contain myself and trying to calm Itona was nearly impossible.

 

I bit my nails nervously. He’s shaking so much he’s basically vibrating, and not in a good way. The leftover tentacle cells sometimes left me incapable to physically touch him, only phasing through him like a ghost.

 

“Please Itona,” I croaked out. I breathed in and out. “I’m here. You’re safe.”

 

I’ll skip the long part, but I was basically repeating that like a mantra for half an hour.

 

A sigh escaped me as Itona stopped shaking, being quiet for a few minutes. He pulled his hands away from his neck, unfolding himself.

 

“Don’t even think about apologizing,” I warned, trying to be gentle. He looked at me in shame, the words already dying on his tongue. I frowned. “Can I touch you?”

 

Itona practically threw himself in my arms. “What if he’s not dead. Oh god. What if he survived? What if Shiro’s still out there and he finds me and—”

 

“He’s dead,” I confirmed, though the thought haunted me as well. “He’s dead and rotting in hell where he belongs. I know, okay? He’s gone.”

 

“Okay,” he mumbled, relaxing himself carefully. It took him a few minutes. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

 

“I just told you not to apologize.”

 

“Well I want to! I feel guilty about it so just let me! I scared you, a lot, and I feel really bad.”

 

Those gold eyes looked at me, and I tried for a smile. “It’s okay, Itona. You’re okay, I’m better now.”

 

He sighed, rubbing his wrists and looking down. I wanted to protest, but this was the part he had to fight on his own. “I was, back there, if you couldn’t tell. Shiro was,” he swallowed, “testing weapons on me, you know? He had them sent to the government but that was later and I remember he made one just for me. It, it was designed like the Backbiter, y’know?”

 

I stared at him blankly, and he groaned.

 

“Right, well one side was regular steel and the other anti-sensei, so it could cut human skin and the tentacle cells... it was the perfect weapon for me and any of the failed subjects, so he let me have a copy to, kill them.”

 

One time, Itona had mentioned his job was to destroy any failed subjects, that had led to another flashback, specifically the one I mentioned earlier. I pushed away those thoughts.

 

He pulled said knife from a hidden pocket, and it seized me that he probably had an assortment of weapons hidden. “I carry it, just in case, it’s just a paranoid thing but like, I have it cased so metal detectors can’t get it and...”

 

“It’s okay,” I managed to say, “just don’t use it on me or anyone else, it’s okay.” I reached out and brushed a lock of his hair back.

 

“I just don’t wanna use it. But I have a feeling that there are still people out there. Shiro may be gone, but his followers? What if there’s more?”

 

I smiled, grasping Itona’s hand. “Then we’ll fight, like we always do. I don’t think you catch any of Class 3-E dead with rusty skills.”

 

Itona crossed his arms again, huffing. “Too cheesy, idiot. I think we have a game to finish?”

 

I could feel my smile widen quickly. “What’s the score now, one thousand to zero?”

 

”Oh shut up.”


End file.
